医学翻译常见错例及分析（2）

3. 无冶游史。

原译：Denied having more than 1 sexual partner.

分析：这个例子主要强调意思准确性问题。原文的“冶游史”指的是做“大保健” prostitute visiting。但原译的意思是问有没有多个性伴侣，跟原文意思有差别。

4. 该产品针对敏感和干性肌肤……（打断）

原译：This product is for sensitive and dry skin……(interrupted)

分析：这个例子主要强调标点符号问题。中文的省略号是 6 个点，英文里只有 3 个点。

标点符号和空格很多人都会出错，空格问题见往期文章：

5. 患者诉腰部疼痛、活动受限，无昏迷、头痛、胸闷，无咳嗽咳痰，无恶心、呕吐，腹部无压痛和反跳痛。

原译：The patient complained of lower back pain, limited movement, he was not unconscious, did not have headache, chest tightness, cough and expectoration, nausea, vomiting and his abdomen did not have tenderness and rebound tenderness.

分析：这个例子主要强调行文逻辑和语法问题。原文流水句，一逗到底，那是病历行文特点。翻译成英文，基本的语法规则还是要遵守的。语法完整的句子跟句子之间不能直接放在一起，必须用连词或者分号（；）连接。

详见往期

如果修改的话，建议把意思分割开，写独立的句子，保持逻辑清晰。还可以有更好的翻译版本。

参考修改：The patient complained of lower back pain and limited movement. He was not unconscious. He did not have headache, chest tightness, cough and expectoration, nausea, and vomiting. His abdomen did not have tenderness and rebound tenderness.

6. 患者因“间断胸闷、气短5年，加重1月”于2018年12月8日入院，入院后完善检查，心内科给予强心、利尿、抗感染等治疗，患者气短仍明显，水肿明显，不能平卧，遂转入重症医学科，给予抗感染，高流量吸氧，并化痰、利尿、强心、扩冠等治疗。

原译：Patient admitted on 08-Dec-2018 for "intermittent chest tightness and shortness of breath for 5years, exacerbated for 1 months," examinations were completed after admission, the Department of Cardiology provided heart-strengthening, diuretic, and anti-infective treatments, the patient's shortness of breath remained significant, significant edema, unable to lie supine, subsequently transferred to Department of Critical Care Medicine, the Department of Critical Care Medicine provided anti-infective, high-flow oxygen, mucolytic, diuretic, heart-strengthening, and coronary-dilating treatments.

分析：这个例子还是强调行文逻辑和断句问题。原译问题跟例 5 一样，这名译员不知道断句，也不遵守语法规则。

参考修改：Patient admitted on 08-Dec-2018 for "intermittent chest tightness and shortness of breath for 5years, exacerbated for 1 months". Examinations were completed after admission. The Department of Cardiology provided heart-strengthening, diuretic, and anti-infective treatments. Tthe patient's shortness of breath remained significant, with significant edema. He was unable to lie supine, and was subsequently transferred to Department of Critical Care Medicine. The Department of Critical Care Medicine provided treatments such as anti-infection, high-flow oxygen, sputum reduction, diuresis, cardiac function support,and coronary dilation.

还可以有更好的翻译版本。

除此之外，原译还存在并列成分结构不一致问题。在最后一句中，一系列形容词中夹杂着名词 high-flow oxygen。

要保持并列成分一致，一种修改可以是并列成分都换成名词：provided treatments such as anti-infection, high-flow oxygen, sputum reduction, diuresis, cardiac function support,and coronary dilation.

鉴于笔者视野和经验有限，欢迎各位批评指正。